I want to start this particular blog off with saying that I made a jump to judgement and automatically took Johnny Depp's side. As most of us did. I was unable to watch the trial every day and to be honest, I formed an opinion on what clips I saw and what I heard. I never read the Op-Ed that Amber had published in The Washington Post. When researching this case, I did read it and watched the documentary on Netflix, Depp vs. Heard. I believe that in this case multiple forms of abuse were on both sides. Physical, verbal, and emotional.
On April 11th, 2022, a trial started in Fairfax, Va (not too far from where I live actually). A defamation trial in which actor Johnny Depp sued his ex-wife Amber Heard for 50 million in damages claiming that in her 2018 op-ed, she was speaking out about sexual abuse and physical abuse. It's important to know that she never named anyone is this article. Not Johnny, not anyone else. In the Op-Ed, Amber wrote: "Then two years ago, I became a public figure representing domestic abuse, and I felt the full force of our culture's wrath for women who speak out. I had the rare vantage point of seeing, in real time, how institutions protect men accused of abuse." She further stated that, as a result of this, she had lost a film role and an advertising campaign for a global fashion brand. The op-ed called for Congress to re-authorize the Violence Against Women Act and did not explicitly mention Depp by name. Amber also filed a counter claim in the trial, requesting 100 million in damages.
How did all of this start? When and why? Amber and Johnny met in 2009 on the set of "The Rum Diaries" and they began dating late in 2011, early 2012. They got engaged in 2014 and married on Johnny's private island in February 2015. When watching the Netflix documentary, there were allegations that abuse on both sides. If you have been a follower or fan of Johnny Depp, you know that he has struggled for a long time with drug and alcohol addiction. In Amber's testimony, she spoke about how unruly Johnny would get when he was on drugs or had been drinking to excess. There were taped recordings of arguments in which both Amber and Depp threw vile words back and forth and you can hear some slurring in his speech. She did say to him in one of those recorded arguments that he was " a crybaby and that no one would believe that Johnny Depp was being abused". Johnny cussed and mostly called her names. A settlement was reached in August 2016, and the divorce was finalized in January 2017 after being filed by Heard in May of 2016. Heard withdrew the restraining order, and she and Depp released a joint statement stating that their relationship was "intensely passionate and periodically volatile, but always bound by love. Neither party has made false accusations for financial gain. There was never any intent of physical or emotional harm." To me, this statement speaks volumes. It is basically them both admitting to being abusers and mistreating one another. This is not uncommon in relationships where two people are very headstrong, have mental illness, drink or abuse drugs, and often are very dramatic. They are after all, actors.
On the stand, Johnny spoke of a time that Amber went to their apartment to get some belongings after their breakup, and he was called stating that on his side of the bed had "human feces" on it. On his pillow. Amber denied ever doing this and had stated to friends before that one of Johnny's teacup Yorkies had bowel issues. This was seen in several text messages that were presented as evidence. Depp also stated that it was not from his Yorkie due to the size and amount of the feces. This is where the people began to threaten to "Amber Heard your ass" in memes and all-over social media. Did she in fact shit on his bed? I guess we will never know. Amber's attorney entered into evidence photos of Johnny Depp passed out on multiple occasions. One of him with ice cream spilling down his lap. Depp's attorney attacked Amber and stated she must really like taking photos of Johhny when he was sleeping. Amber stated he was not sleeping but in fact passed out. What I found interesting is that most evidence was allowed into the trial but there had been an incident in which Johnny and Amber were on a plane and he kicked her, and one of his "people" sent her text messages apologizing but because they were not introduced at the beginning of the trial, they were denied. I just want to state my opinion here. Do I think that Johnny Depp was abused? Yes, I do. Do I also think that Amber was abused. Again, yes. Both of them have issues and it is obvious that they both need therapy. I think Johnny needs rehab. A long stint in rehab. They were oil and water, Fire and gasoline if you will.
Most of the time, domestic violence situations do not play out this publicly. There is so much more on this case that you can look at. The lawsuit in the UK. The mechanics of it. The money and lawsuits. I didn't want to focus on that but on the abuse that occurred. People think that verbal abuse is not deadly, it's just words. This is not at all true. Verbal abuse can cause the person receiving it to self-harm or even commit suicide. The effects of verbal abuse long outlast the bruises of the physical abuse. Trauma Bonds are formed, and they are the most dangerous.
Trauma bonding is the attachment an abused person feels for their abuser, specifically in a relationship with a cyclical pattern of abuse.
The bond is created due to a cycle of abuse and positive reinforcement. After each circumstance of abuse, the abuser professes love, regret, and otherwise tries to make the relationship feel safe and needed for the abused person.
Trauma bonding is one reason that leaving an abusive situation can feel confusing and overwhelming. It involves positive and/or loving feelings for an abuser, making the abused person feel attached to and dependent on their abuser. I should know. I still have one that I am trying to detach from.
Emotional and verbal abuse stay with you and haunt you for years. Physical abuse is by far the most dangerous. Just remember, if you are being abused, you are not alone. There is help. Get out while you can. I fully believe this case had a trauma bond situation.
Please visit Domestic Violence Support | National Domestic Violence Hotline (thehotline.org) or call 1-800-799-SAFE. You can also text "START" to 88788 for any help with leaving a domestic relationship. There is help.
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